We live in the present. Neither the past or the future, we’re stuck between the two on a razor’s edge. We must live up to the past while simultaneously building a better future. It’s like two helix strands of DNA, spiraling around each other. One is the past, the other the future. Both are vital to the present, but neither can actually be touched.
Not being able to gain the perspective of hindsight, or know what the future holds leaves us to experiment, to grope blindly into the future hoping that we’re doing something right. And it only sometimes works, but luckily it’s a self regulating system--mostly.
In this world where we see how we can fix things, to create a better world for ourselves, but we don’t because of apathy, or lack of interest, or any of a myriad reasons, we deserve every bad consequence tenfold. And in this world, I cannot hope it will get better. Having hope that it will get better is opening yourself unto a world beyond your control. And that’s when bad things happen, tragedies.
When something bad happens, or you feel shitty because of something outside your control, some of us have a small part that lusts for destroying something in our own life to regain a sense of control. Misguided, yes. But the precious sense of control over our own lives is worth much more to us than we know. And if it means sabotaging a relationship, an opportunity, or our health to regain the sense of control over our life, then it seems worth it. And the saddest part? We never really had control anyway. It’s all a construct by our minds to fool ourselves into believing we’re worth something against the tides of the world. And if watching people on a beach has shown me anything, it’s that tides are magnificent, untouchable and unbridled in their explicit show of how nature roars. The tides are indomitable, as is their control over our lives. But those people on the beach have floaties--a sense of control--just as we choose to destroy pieces of ourselves. And that’s dark justice.
Styles Yugen, signing off.